When I was born, my grandfather named me S’danisile, a name which when directly translated means Disappointed. Before you think otherwise, my grandfather has absolutely no hate for me or my mother. In fact, it is blatantly obvious I am his favourite grandchild! Although the reasoning behind the name is understandable, my mother rejected the name which means it is not on any official documents, a reaction which is also understandable. Growing up, I knew I had this name as a few family members would only refer to me as S’danisile . As a child, I never took it too seriously. However, the older I got the more I feared living up to this name. When it came to passing my GCSEs, making it through A levels, getting into university and finally graduating, I was always motivated and pushed by the ever growing fear of being a disappointment. Consequently, I never had a good relationship with failure. When I failed at anything, I immediately retracted into my own self-hatred. I would...
Like most students, I was looking forward to my graduation day. Hearing my name being called out, walking on to the stage in a cap and gown, my family cheering me on as I shook the hands of very important people I don't know. Unfortunately for me, I graduated during a pandemic. In short, this meant the last and most important 2 months of my 4 year degree were filled with online lectures, confusion and uncertainty. As common as it ...