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Showing posts from July, 2021

Understanding Failure

    When I was born, my grandfather named me S’danisile, a name which when directly translated means Disappointed. Before you think otherwise, my grandfather has absolutely no hate for me or my mother. In fact, it is blatantly obvious I am his favourite grandchild! Although the reasoning behind the name is understandable, my mother rejected the name which means it is not on any official documents, a reaction which is also understandable. Growing up, I knew I had this name as a few family members would only refer to me as S’danisile . As a child, I never took it too seriously. However, the older I got the more I feared living up to this name. When it came to passing my GCSEs, making it through A levels, getting into university and finally graduating, I was always motivated and pushed by the ever growing fear of being a disappointment. Consequently, I never had a good relationship with failure. When I failed at anything, I immediately retracted into my own self-hatred. I would...

I graduated during a global pandemic.

  Like   most   students,   I   was   looking   forward   to   my   graduation   day.   Hearing   my   name   being   called   out,   walking   on   to   the   stage   in   a   cap   and   gown,   my   family   cheering   me   on   as   I   shook   the   hands   of   very   important   people   I   don't   know.   Unfortunately   for   me,   I   graduated   during   a   pandemic.   In   short,   this   meant   the   last   and   most   important   2   months   of   my   4   year   degree   were   filled   with   online   lectures,   confusion   and   uncertainty.   As   common   as   it   ...